User:Eklas/Bliki/2018/05/28

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Hi! The season of body odor, sweaty thighs and Despacito is upon us again, and you can safely bet that I would drag my basic white ass to Starbucks to get a frappuccino on any occasion now if I had enough money. My recent work on the map isn't very exciting, I'm currently doing some large-scale mapping, but I did do some things on the wiki worth mentioning.

Entrepreneurship internationále

Bye sister, walk the runway, except maybe more like bye Felicia, and more of a Rebecca Glasscock than Vanessa Vanjie Mateo (yes hello i've seen every episode of drag race), however you want to call it, Singkangia is now gone and left behind are numerous dead businesses on the OGF:International Business Listing page. I've decided to resurrect two, and I also revamped their wiki pages.

Logo of Iro.
Logo of Iper.
File:Logo Gigante hyp.png
New logo of Gigante hypermarket.
File:Logo Veronacoffee.png
New logo of Verona Coffee

Shopping in a supermarket... but IRONICALLY

Isn't it Iro-nic, don't you think? Shout out to Alanis Morisette, but the conveniently priced groceries in Iro supermarkets definitely won't ruin your day like finding 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife.

What I'm talking about is not only the iconic (or should I say... ironic?) 1997 song, but more importantly the Iper Group. Pronounced i-per (rhymes with diaper), this company was formerly known as Grupo Iper and originated in Mariana, but moved to Drabantia in February when Mariana was marked as a lost country. Mariana might be a lost country, but Iper certainly isn't a lost cause. With a whopping one location on the map as of May 28th, 2018, it is the #2 retailer in Drabantia already.

In all seriousness though, Iro and Iper will soon pop up in more towns and cities in my country and hopefully also elsewhere in Uletha, as they're open for international franchising. The real world alternative to Iro would probably be whichever incarnation of Ahold Delhaize supermarkets there is in your homeland, think moderate prices and moderate quality.

Big daddy and his di... scount stores

Gigante is another company formerly from Mariana. To justify the name, which is incidentally almost unpronounceable in Czech/Drabantian, I envision Gigante supermarkets to be these gigantic labyrinths you can pointlessly roam around for hours, ending up with a shopping cart full of things you just HAD TO buy, when you just came for some bread. If you want to introduce the citizens of your fictional country to Gigantic Hypermarket Extravaganza, please go ahead, you won't regret. Feel absolutely free to edit the local name to better fit your language and please read Talk:Gigante first.

Verona is the best café there is. Change my mind

I'm George and I have something to say.

No shade, no tea, but Verona Coffee is just better than yours. Actually yes, we do serve tea, and it doesn't have the bitter colonial Tarephian aftertaste like Empire Coffee does. *sips loudly* Also watch out Duchycoffee, because we make coffee out of actual coffee beans. Yes, coffee drinks are made of coffee. Just thought you'd like to know based on my last impression of your "coffee." *sips* And then we have CoffeeBreaks. Coffee isn't the only thing that's breaking there you know, every time I walk by I see a sign that says "closed due to maintenance."

Anyways, the tea has been served, hope you're hydrated, 2018 is also the year of moisturizing. If you haven't already (because I've seen them in many parts of the world), you can also open a few Verona Coffee locations in your country. As always, read the talk page, just like I read your other mediocre coffeehouse chains for filth, oKAAAY

More companies coming soon.

It's only a bit of progress, and most of the pages in the category Companies in Drabantia are still a haunting legacy of me happily overwikifying two years ago, but hey. 2018 is the year we clean up toxic people and bad habits from our lives, and it might still be the year we clean up the wiki as well. See you next week!

Monday bliki by Eklas
2020

Comments are v welcome

there aren't nearly enough songs about hot weather

Nice idea there Eklas, saving some of the Intellectual Property (in Universe of the OGF, not literally) from the abyss of history! Brings up a proposition though, as you know, I am moving on from Tierajas-Verdes (although I hit a very physical bump in the fact that my computer's hard drive decided to commit Sudoku and die on me). Which leaves a few of my companies without any foundation. You said you wanted a piece of T-V, why not take a chain then! :) You can find a full listing HERE but I'd list a few you'd be interested in; Happy Grill (I imagine it just a franchise that buys the names from take-outs to make a profit, but you can use it how you want), Pheonix Steel Inc. (I don't think you have many actual industries under your belt, so I'd like you to have Pheonix Steel). Keep Up The Mapping! --Aces California (talk) 18:38, 28 May 2018 (CEST)

Thank you! Happy grill, yes ma'am! Pheonix Steel is confusing to me, shouldn't it be Phoenix? Or is it supposed to be this extra? Anyways I already have some plans for heavy industry companies in my country, perhaps Phoenix Steel could be an international conglomerate owning some of them. --Eklas (talk) 11:16, 29 May 2018 (CEST)
Yes you are correct, I meant Phoenix Steel. You can definitely have Happy Grill then! Never been happy with that name anyway ;) Sounds like something you'd find on a Sitcom or a Cartoon. No worries on not taking up Phoenix Steel! You don't need factories if you'd rather use your own heavy industry companies :P --Aces California (talk) 23:24, 29 May 2018 (CEST)

The amount of sass in this is overwhelming. GG.~~Michal (talk) 18:50, 28 May 2018 (CEST)

Ya know 😏 --Eklas (talk) 11:16, 29 May 2018 (CEST)
As is the amount of pop-cultural references that I actually understand... Strangers With Candy?!? Were you even born when that came out, George? I'm rolling on the floor laughing my a- well, you get the picture. Sadly Østermark is not so very ripe for franchising, we have a lot of our own crappy versions of things that other countries do better. We're just not a big enough market for anyone to bother with, for the most part. (Our own hyper-market is in fact a kind of weird quasi-socialist relic from the 40s and 50s, an all-in-one store called Modus that is vaguely reminiscent of Sweden's old Domus chain of department store, which had everything (including food) and kind of destroyed the centers of a lot of old towns when they ripped them down to build the big and ugly Domus stores. Anyway... I'm wracking my brains to come up with something that Drabantia would bother to export to Østermark --Demuth (talk) 19:08, 28 May 2018 (CEST)
I was born shortly after - I was actually referencing Jasmine Masters' catchphrase, perhaps she was inspired by the show. At least you had a fun time.
As for trade with Østermark, I'm also struggling to think of any products to export there. Maybe once I map more heavy industry it could be cars? Machines? And the other way around, Østermark could export... fish? Fresh tilapia? --Eklas (talk) 11:16, 29 May 2018 (CEST)
Hmmm, don't know how I missed Jasmine Masters saying that (I was probably distracted by her whole bitter, bitter queen routine. Oh, Jasmine.) She probably doesn't even know it, but that phrase belongs to Jerri Blank and she really should return it (and if you haven't seen it, you, George, really should watch Strangers With Candy, Amy Sedaris is pwetty cwazy).
As for fish. Tilapia, sadly no. Herring or cod more likely if you want em. But machines from Drabantia for Østermark could definitely work. Maybe we could produce cheap parts for you? We have very low labor costs! --Demuth (talk) 13:29, 29 May 2018 (CEST)
Well the judging by the IMDB page, the show looks very early 2000s and I sure am interested, even if I'm more of a late 2000s kid.
Guess we'll have to make a little trip to (Astr)asia for tilapia, but cod and herring are still... fish, that's fun. Outsourcing some industrial production to Østermark sounds great, our companies will exploit the weak work regulations and cheap labor just a little, pinky promise --Eklas (talk) 21:44, 29 May 2018 (CEST)
I am extremely confused by this conversation, and with most of the references that Eklas uses. FictiveJ (talk) 10:16, 31 May 2018 (CEST)

"The bitter colonial Tarephian aftertaste"? That was 300 years ago! Sounds like we've got a smart-arse here, we'll have to cut our pineapple exports and send in the RVAF. — ParAvion (talk) 00:00, 29 May 2018 (CEST)

I said what I said --Eklas (talk) 11:16, 29 May 2018 (CEST)
*sips tea*--Turnsole80 (talk) 11:48, 29 May 2018 (CEST)

Well, let's hope the Paroyans (especially the Veronians) like their coffee salty. Muahaha. But good stuff. Those new logos, very clean, love it. I will definitely build a few stores. —PC (talk · bliki) 01:50, 29 May 2018 (CEST)

Thank you! I don't possess any major graphic software skills, so that's perhaps why they're this simple (or to put it in a nicer way, they're "minimalistic") --Eklas (talk) 11:16, 29 May 2018 (CEST)

Nice work as always. Funny thing - I remember the origin of Verona Coffee: it came from here, which was the fictional country of Brunant, and predates OpenGeofiction by several years. Since the person who created Verona Coffee here also created Brunant, it's nice to see it have another life. Also, despite Xenica being a tropical country, it doesn't really have a coffee industry, but I guess those cookies you will undoubtedly serve alongside them need palm oil, and Xenica delivers! I sign off here, FictiveJ (talk) 03:26, 29 May 2018 (CEST)

Oh wow! Talk about recycling. There's been an anti-palm-oil movement recently, because apparently forests are being cut down to make space for palm plantations, and maybe Verona Coffee as an "environmentaly conscious" company (hahaha) would follow that trend, but still, some palm oil might always come handy. --Eklas (talk) 11:16, 29 May 2018 (CEST)

Honestly, most Freedemians would agree and say CoffeeBreaks is overpriced crap and they might as well get their coffee from Donut Emporium where they get reasonably good coffee for way less and the best donuts (well, best chain donuts at least) in Tarephia. CoffeeBreaks was frankly made as sort of a Starbucks clone, with all their overpriced trash, so it honestly deserves all the sass you can dish out XD

Speaking of which, should I take it the existing Freedemian locations of Gigante are okay to stay? Gigante's supposedly like the second biggest hypermarket chain there, and I've had locations placed since back when Mariana still existed. --Ernestpcosby (talk) 06:19, 1 June 2018 (CEST)
Oh well, at least I had fun. Yes, you're absolutely free to keep all the Gigante stores, just please tag them according to Talk:Gigante. --Eklas (talk) 07:04, 1 June 2018 (CEST)